G’day, Let’s Talk About Your Dodgy Internet
Look, we’ve put up with a lot in this country. Spiders the size of dinner plates. Summer heat that melts the bitumen. Magpies that declare war during swooping season. But nothing, and I mean nothing, tests the patience of an Australian quite like our internet problems.
We’re a nation that invented WiFi, yet somehow we’re still dealing with connections that drop out faster than a mate who owes you fifty bucks. So let’s have a yarn about the most quintessentially Aussie internet problems, and more importantly, how to fix them before you chuck your router in the bin.
Problem 1: “The NBN Technician Will Be There Between 8am and 5pm”
The Situation: You’ve taken a day off work. You’ve told the family no one can leave the house. You’ve got your phone glued to your hand waiting for the call. 8am rolls around. Nothing. 10am. Nothing. 1pm. Still nothing. 4:58pm, your phone rings. “Yeah mate, can’t make it today. Can we reschedule?”
Why This is Peak Australia: Only in Australia do we accept a nine-hour window for an appointment like it’s completely reasonable. You wouldn’t cop this from a doctor or a hairdresser, but apparently internet technicians operate on island time.
The Actual Fix:
- Book the first appointment slot of the day (they’re less likely to be running late)
- Consider self-install options if you’re remotely handy
- When you do get connected, get it done right the first time so you never have to deal with this again
Pro Tip: MATE offers plans you can set up yourself in most cases. No waiting around like a mug for someone who may or may not show up. You’re in control.
Problem 2: Your Internet Dies Every Time It Rains
The Situation: First drops hit the roof and your stream starts buffering. Five minutes into a storm and you’ve lost connection entirely. You’ve accepted that rain equals no internet. You’ve planned your life around the weather forecast.
Why This is Peak Australia: We live on the driest inhabited continent, but the moment it rains, half the country’s internet carks it. Make it make sense.
The Actual Fix:
- Check your connection box outside. If it’s not weatherproof, get it sealed properly
- Corroded copper lines are usually the culprit. Get them checked and replaced
- If you’re on HFC cable, the connections can get water damage. Needs proper housing
- Upgrade to FTTP (Fibre to the Premises) if it’s available in your area
- In the meantime, have a backup plan (mobile hotspot with decent data)
The Real Talk: This shouldn’t be normal, but it is for way too many Aussies. If your internet dies every time it drizzles, you’ve got a physical infrastructure problem. Don’t let your provider tell you it’s “just how it is.” It’s not. Get it fixed properly.
Problem 3: The CBD vs Regional Speed Gap
The Situation: Your mate in Sydney is pulling 100mbps while you’re in regional NSW getting 12mbps on a good day. You pay the same amount. They complain about buffering and you want to reach through the phone.
Why This is Peak Australia: We’ve got more coastline than any country except Canada, a landmass the size of the continental US, and about 26 million people scattered across it. Infrastructure is cooked.
The Actual Fix:
- Check if fixed wireless or satellite NBN is available (better than nothing)
- Look into Starlink if you’re properly remote and can afford it
- 4G/5G home internet is getting better for regional areas
- If you’ve got any fiber infrastructure nearby, jump on it immediately
- Unlimited data plans are crucial because you can’t afford to ration what little speed you have
The Reality Check: This one’s genuinely tough. The tyranny of distance is real. But providers are rolling out better regional options. MATE’s unlimited data plans mean at least you’re not paying per gigabyte for your slower speeds. That’s something.
Problem 4: Summer Heat Murdering Your Router
The Situation: It’s 42 degrees outside. Your router is tucked in the entertainment unit with your console, modem, and Foxtel box, creating a small sun. By 2pm, everything’s overheating and shutting down. You’ve tried putting ice packs near it. You’re not proud of this.
Why This is Peak Australia: Our summers are brutal and our houses are designed by people who apparently hate air flow. We cook our tech without even trying.
The Actual Fix:
- Get your router out of enclosed spaces (I know it looks tidier, but it’s killing your gear)
- Make sure there’s at least 10cm of clear space around it for airflow
- Don’t stack devices on top of each other
- Point a small fan at your setup if you’re desperate (actually works)
- If your router is ancient and overheating constantly, upgrade it
- Put your gear in the coolest part of the house, not the sunniest
The Prevention: Modern routers handle heat better, but they’re not indestructible. Mesh systems spread the load across multiple units, which means less heat concentration. Consider it an investment in not having to reset your router three times a day in January.
Problem 5: The Entire Household Trying to Stream the Cricket
The Situation: It’s day three of the Boxing Day test. Everyone’s home. Three different devices streaming cricket. Someone’s on a Zoom call. The kids are on YouTube. Your partner’s uploading work files. Your internet is crying. The stream keeps buffering at crucial moments. You’ve missed three wickets.
Why This is Peak Australia: We’re a sports-mad country with shocking peak-hour bandwidth management. When everyone’s home and everyone’s online, the network gets absolutely hammered.
The Actual Fix:
- Upgrade your plan (seriously, if you’re still on NBN 25 with multiple people streaming, you’re dreaming)
- NBN 100 minimum for families, 500+ if you’re heavy users
- Unlimited data is non-negotiable for streaming households
- Set up Quality of Service (QoS) on your router to prioritise streaming
- Hardwire your streaming devices instead of relying on Wi-Fi
The Math: Cricket stream at 1080p uses about 3-4mbps. Times that by three devices. Add zoom calls (2-3mbps). Add YouTube (5mbps for HD). You’re looking at 20-25mbps minimum just for simultaneous streaming. On NBN 25, you’ve got no headroom. Upgrade.
The MATE Solution: Our plans go from 25 all the way to 2000mbps, all unlimited data, no contracts. Start with what you think you need. If Boxing Day test proves you wrong, bump it up. No penalties, no hassles.
Problem 6: Your Wi-Fi Doesn’t Reach the Dunny
The Situation: You’re scrolling on the loo (don’t lie, everyone does it) and you’ve got one bar of Wi-Fi. Maybe. Sometimes it drops to nothing. You’ve memorized which part of the bathroom gets the best signal. You’ve considered just using mobile data but you’ve got principles.
Why This is Peak Australia: Our houses are built with double brick that blocks signals like they’re trying to keep out a cyclone. Add in tin roofs and you’ve created a perfect Wi-Fi dead zone.
The Actual Fix:
- Mesh Wi-Fi system (this fixes like 90% of coverage issues)
- Position your main router more centrally in the house
- Get the router up high (signals spread better from elevation)
- If you’re renting and can’t move the NBN box, mesh nodes are your savior
- Check your router isn’t behind a massive TV or in a cupboard
The Investment: A decent mesh system costs a couple hundred bucks. Compare that to the cost of your sanity every time you lose signal mid-scroll. Worth it.
Problem 7: The “Sorry Mate, No NBN in Your Street Yet”
The Situation: You moved to a great suburb. Good schools. Nice parks. Decent cafes. Zero NBN. Your street is “scheduled for rollout” and has been for three years. Everyone around you has it. You’re stuck on 4G getting speeds that would embarrass a carrier pigeon.
Why This is Peak Australia: The NBN rollout was meant to be finished years ago. Somehow there are still pockets of civilization with no access. It’s like living in the Stone Age but you can see the future from your front window.
The Actual Fix:
- Check if 5G home internet is available (legitimately good in metro areas now)
- Fixed wireless might be an option
- Satellite is available everywhere but expensive – see Starlink above
- Badger your local MP (seriously, squeaky wheel gets the oil)
- Check NBN rollout maps regularly for updates
The Temporary Solution: If you’re waiting for NBN, get the best wireless plan you can find with unlimited data. It’ll be slow, but at least you’re not paying for speed you’re not getting. The moment NBN lights up in your street, switch immediately.
Problem 8: Spotify/Netflix Works Fine, But Gaming is Cooked
The Situation: You can stream movies no worries. Music plays perfectly. But jump into an online game and you’re rubber-banding across the map like you’re on a bungee cord. Your ping is higher than Uluru. Your K/D ratio is suffering.
Why This is Peak Australia: Gaming needs low latency more than raw speed. You can stream Netflix on 25mbps. You can’t play competitive games on 80ms ping. Australian servers help, but routing and congestion still shaft us.
The Actual Fix:
- Wired connection is mandatory for gaming (Wi-Fi adds latency)
- Make sure you’re on the 5GHz band if you must use Wi-Fi
- Check your ping during peak hours (6pm-10pm)
- Upgrade to at least NBN 100 for better peering arrangements
- Use DNS servers optimised for gaming
- Close background apps and downloads while gaming
The Reality: Your internet speed matters, but your latency matters more. You want consistent ping, not just fast downloads. Test your connection during the times you actually game. If your ping spikes every evening, you need a better plan or better infrastructure.
Problem 9: The Household Wi-Fi Password Situation
The Situation: Your Wi-Fi password is “password123” or it’s still the default from the router box. Everyone in the neighborhood probably knows it. Your network name is “NETGEAR-5G” or “TP-LINK_2.4G.” Half your street might be leeching your connection and you’d never know.
Why This is Peak Australia: She’ll be right attitude strikes again. Can’t be bothered changing the password. Too hard to reconnect all the devices. Classic Aussie “if it ain’t completely broken, don’t fix it” mentality.
The Actual Fix:
- Change your Wi-Fi password right now (seriously, bookmark this and do it after reading)
- Make it strong but memorable (passphrase is better than random characters)
- Change your network name to something personal (helps you find your network easier)
- Update the admin password on your router (don’t leave it as “admin”)
- Check connected devices regularly to spot unauthorized users
The 5-Minute Job: This takes less time than reading this article. Log into your router (usually 192.168.1.1 or 192.168.0.1), find wireless settings, change the password and network name. Done. Your neighbors can get their own internet
Problem 10: “Have You Tried Turning It Off and On Again?”
The Situation: Your internet’s playing up. You call your provider. First thing they say is “have you tried restarting your router?” You have. Multiple times. They make you do it again while you’re on the phone. Nothing changes. They book a technician for three weeks from now.
Why This is Peak Australia: We’ve all become our own tech support because actual tech support is absolutely cooked. You’ve learned to troubleshoot everything yourself because waiting for help takes longer than solving it yourself.
The Actual Fix:
- Learn basic troubleshooting (restart router, check cables, test different devices)
- Document the issue before calling (speeds, error messages, when it happens)
- Test your speed at different times to show patterns
- Take screenshots of issues
- Don’t accept “restart your router” as the only solution
The Real Solution: Get with a provider that actually supports you like MATE’s Aussie based team. If you’re calling tech support monthly, something’s fundamentally wrong with either your setup or your provider. Life’s too short for constant dropouts.
Problem 11: Peak Hour Congestion (AKA Everyone’s Home Now)
The Situation: 9am? Internet’s great. 2pm? Fantastic. 7pm? Absolute garbage. Everyone on your street just got home from work, fired up Netflix, and your speed has tanked harder than the Australian dollar in 2008.
Why This is Peak Australia: We’re creatures of habit. Everyone streams at the same time. Everyone’s online at the same time. Our network infrastructure gets absolutely monstered every single evening.
The Actual Fix:
- Upgrade to a higher speed tier (more bandwidth = less impact from congestion)
- Check if your provider offers typical evening speed guarantees
- Consider providers with better network management
- Test speeds at 8pm specifically (that’s the real test)
- If fixed line is consistently slow, look at 5G home internet options
The Provider Choice: Not all NBN plans are equal. You might be paying the same for NBN 100, but Provider A delivers 95mbps at peak times while Provider B delivers 45mbps. Check typical evening speeds before signing up.
Problem 12: The “Unlimited” Data That’s Not Really Unlimited
The Situation: Your plan says unlimited. The fine print says “fair use policy.” You hit 500GB and suddenly your speed gets throttled to unusable levels. You’re rationing your internet like it’s wartime.
Why This is Peak Australia: We hate being told what to do, but we also accept fine print like it’s gospel. That “unlimited*” asterisk is doing a lot of heavy lifting.
The Actual Fix:
- Read the fine print before signing up
- Look for truly unlimited plans with no throttling
- If you’re a heavy user (streaming, gaming, working from home), factor that in
- Don’t pay for “unlimited” that caps you at 500GB when other providers offer genuine unlimited
The MATE Difference: Our unlimited data plans are actually unlimited. No throttling. No surprises. You pay for a speed tier, you get that speed, and you can use as much data as you want. Simple.
The Most Australian Problem of All: “Yeah Nah, She’ll Be Right”
The Real Situation: Your internet is objectively terrible. You know it’s terrible. Your family knows it’s terrible. But you’ve just… accepted it. You’ve adapted your entire life around a subpar connection. You download games overnight. You don’t stream in HD. You’ve lowered your expectations so far they’re underground.
Why This is the Most Australian Thing Ever: We’re weirdly stoic about infrastructure issues. We’ll complain about it at the pub, but actually fixing it? Nah, too hard. She’ll be right.
The Wake-Up Call: No, she won’t be right. You’re paying good money for a service that doesn’t work properly. That’s not “just how it is.” That’s you getting ripped off and convincing yourself it’s fine.
The Actual Fix:
- Admit your internet is cooked
- Research better options (they exist, I promise)
- Calculate what you’re actually getting vs what you’re paying for
- Switch providers if yours is useless (no contract plans make this easy)
- Invest in proper equipment (mesh systems, ethernet cables)
- Stop accepting mediocrity as normal
The Silver Lining (Yeah, There Is One)
Look, our internet situation isn’t perfect. We’re not South Korea. We’re probably never going to be. But it’s getting better, slowly.
5G home internet is genuinely good in cities now. Fiber rollout is continuing. Providers are offering better plans with more flexibility. Mesh Wi-Fi systems are cheaper and easier than ever. The tech is catching up to what we actually need.
And here’s the thing: most internet problems are fixable. Not all of them, but most. You just need to actually do something about it instead of complaining and accepting the status quo.
The Action Plan for Better Internet
Here’s what you do, right now, today:
1. Test Your Speed
- Go to speedtest.net on a wired connection
- Run it at 8pm (that’s when it matters)
- Write down the result
- Compare it to what you’re paying for
2. Check Your Coverage
- Walk around with your phone
- Open Wi-Fi settings
- See where signal drops
- Identify dead zones
3. Evaluate Your Plan
- How much are you paying?
- What speed are you supposed to get?
- Are you getting it?
- Do you have unlimited data?
4. Make a Decision
- If your plan sucks, switch (no contract plans mean no penalty)
- If your coverage sucks, get mesh Wi-Fi
- If your equipment sucks, upgrade it
- If your provider sucks, find a better one
5. Actually Do It
- Stop putting it off
- Stop convincing yourself it’s fine
- Spend one afternoon fixing this properly
- Thank yourself later
The MATE Approach
Here’s why this matters: your internet should just work. No drama. No dropouts. No calling tech support every month. No acceptance of mediocrity.
MATE offers NBN plans from 25mbps to 2000mbps. Every single one has unlimited data. Not a single one has a contract locking you in. If your needs change, your plan can change. If you need to upgrade, upgrade. If you need to downgrade, downgrade. No penalties, no hassle, no BS.
You can start on NBN 50 to test the waters. If it’s not enough, bump to 100. Still need more? Go to 500 (providing you have Fibre). Want to live your best life? Hit 1000. The flexibility is the whole point.
Because here’s the truth: you don’t know exactly what speed you need until you’re actually using it. Your household’s internet needs will change. Kids get older and start streaming. You start working from home. You get into online gaming. You shouldn’t be locked into a decision you made two years ago based on circumstances that no longer apply.
The Final Word
We’re Australian. We’re resourceful. We’ve made do with dodgy internet for too long because, well, she’ll be right.
But here’s the thing: she doesn’t have to just be right. She can actually be good.
Your internet can reach the whole house. Your speed can be consistent during peak hours. Your data can actually be unlimited. Your connection can stay up when it rains. You can game without lag. You can stream without buffering. You can work from home without dropouts.
You just have to stop accepting less than you deserve.
Sort out your internet. You’ll thank yourself every single day. And if your mates give you stick for “being fancy” with your mesh wifi system and your NBN 750 plan, invite them over to stream the cricket in 4K without buffering. They’ll shut up real quick.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go restart my router. Old habits die hard.
Ready to fix your internet problems for good? Check out MATE’s range of NBN plans. Unlimited data, no contracts, speeds from 25mbps to 2000mbps. Because Australian internet problems deserve Australian solutions.
